You’ve just gotten divorced. Whether you wanted the divorce or were blindsided by the divorce, it’s now a reality. So what are you going to do with your newfound freedom?
If you are feeling emotionally drained from the divorce, take a little time to recover. But don’t take too much time. Don’t wallow in self-pity. You are free and it’s time to enjoy that freedom!
This is a good time to take stock of your life. What would you like to change? You now have a clean slate and can change almost anything because there is no one to stop you. So, what would you like to do?
One place to start is to look back at your life before marriage. Were there activities that you gave up once you got married? Did you run marathons, go on nature hikes, play softball, watch chick flicks, volunteer for political campaigns, work at a homeless shelter, take motorcycle trips, skydive, travel, organize block parties, do community theater, play cards, sew clothes, go dancing, or do some other fun or fulfilling activity? When we look back, we are often surprised at the things we gave up during marriage.
If you enjoyed these activities before marriage, you may still like them now that you are divorced. Why not try to get back into one or more of these activities? You found them enjoyable and fulfilling once; they could be again. And you no longer have to worry about a spouse who may not like these activities.
Along the way, you will meet new people and make new friends. New friends are important because you are starting a new life. You may lose some of the friends you had when you were married. But these new friends will have some of the same interests that you have and won’t be a constant reminder of what used to be.
Is there something you have always wanted to do? Maybe you always wanted to learn to fly a small plane, drive a racecar, or ride a horse. Maybe you wanted to try fencing, karate, competitive swimming, or body building. Now’s your chance. Finally doing something you’ve always wanted to do can be very motivating and empowering. So make the time and go for it. There’s no one holding you back.
Getting involved in activities you enjoy will make you happier and more energetic. That is beneficial to you and your children. Your children will notice that you are a happy and moving on with your life. What a great example and life lesson for your children to learn! .
Something else you may want to change is the look and feel of your home. If you kept the residence after the divorce, take a good look at it. Is it your style, or would you like to change it a little? You can remove a little bit of your spouse’s influence on the décor with a few cans of paint. You may feel like changing the bedroom décor. Go for it. New linens and some paint can make the room look new and fresh again. It’s your room and your house, so make your home look the way you want it to look.
You will be free to start a new relationship when you are ready. You will have the legal and emotional freedom to pursue a new relationship with someone who may be a better fit. There’s no rush here, especially if you have children. But even casual dating can be fun.
Your divorce gave you some newfound freedom. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Make the most of it!
New Direction Family Law