Separation, Divorce, and Tackling Your Fears

In Separation & Divorce by Sarah Hink

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

-Winston Churchill

A separation and divorce can bring about a full gamut of emotions. You may find your emotions shifting wildly, and experiencing multiple emotions at one time. Unfortunately, the most tangible of these emotions is usually fear. Fear can put its grip on you, make you feel paralyzed, and prevent you from wanting to leave your bed.

Don’t worry. It is natural, and also healthy to feel fear. Anybody who tells you that they are not afraid of anything is either being dishonest with you, or with themselves. However, what matters is how you process and cope with your fear.

When you begin feeling fear, it may help to take a few deep breaths and try being mindful of “why” you are afraid. While you may have racing thoughts, try writing down what you are thinking. This can help you to start isolating each thought and fear. In doing so, you are creating yourself a tangible list that you can begin sorting, prioritizing and tackling through planning.

When you start identifying your fears, you may actually discover that tackling each fear is your path toward a brighter future.

Common Fears

  • Fear of change. You have grown accustomed to your life, your relationship, and your daily routine. A divorce means that this is all about to be disrupted. You will have to figure out where you are going to live, how you are going to make ends meet, and establish a new daily routine. However, disruption is not always bad, as it gives you opportunities to identify what you dislike about your life, start new routines, and shake off the negativity of a bad relationship.
  • Fear of the unknown. You had your hopes and dreams intertwined with your marital relationship. Now, you have to change a lot of your plans for the future. This is scary, but is also a tremendous opportunity to re-focus your life and re-discover what is important to you.
  • Fear of being alone. You have been in a long-term relationship with your spouse. Regardless of how the relationship ended, you are feeling a loss of companionship. Just remember that your relationship ended for a reason, and now you have some time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. You will find love again.
  • Fear of labels and the “stigma” of divorce. You may feel embarrassed or judged for getting a divorce. However, know that divorce is incredibly common, that it is not a sign of failure, and that you are not alone. There are support groups full of people who are divorced, with whom you can relate and share your fears.
  • Fear of losing everything, including your children. You may feel like you have an uphill battle in front of you for property, alimony, and child custody that you cannot win. Fortunately, the law is not set up to allow a person to walk away from a marriage with nothing. You just need to find the right family law attorney who can fight for your legal rights regarding property division, child custody, post-separation support, alimony, and child support.

Contact New Direction Family Law

Don’t let fear hold you back; let us help you find your new direction. At New Direction Family Law, we understand that you are at an important moment in your life and that what happens now matters a great deal to your future. Our attorneys are hard working, passionate, and experienced and want to help you. Contact New Direction Family Law at (919) 719-3470 to schedule a consultation, or contact us online at our website.

Sarah J. Hink
New Direction Family Law

New Direction Family Law
(919) 719-3470