A pet peeve is defined as “something that a particular person finds especially annoying.” Even the most tolerant and well-adjusted people in the world have them. Some people have a pet peeve about bizarre and unnecessary national holidays. These people are out of luck during the second week of October, which is “National Pet Peeve Week”!
All kidding aside, Pet Peeve week is a good time to take stock of things in your life that you find annoying, especially when it comes to your relationship with your partner. This is because while individual pet peeves may be annoying, the totality of things that annoy you may be indicative of something more significant. As you do this, be mindful of the following.
- Nobody is perfect and flaws are realistic. So your partner leaves fingernails everywhere, makes a mess right after you’ve cleaned, releases burps and gas incessantly, talks too loud, leaves dirty clothes everywhere, insists on “high-fives” instead of hugs, or uses half a roll of paper towels each time they dry their hands. Welcome to a real life relationship. Everyone has their quirks, but we usually know these things when we make a commitment to our partners.
- Write down the behaviors that annoy you and try to categorize them. Is it just you, or is the behavior objectively annoying? Why does it annoy you? Is the behavior part of a pattern? Are there behaviors that go beyond annoyances, and become a cause for concern? Examples of this may be behaviors that show disrespect toward you and your relationship, or patterns where your spouse is genuinely neglectful of their health and ignore medical advice.
- Pick your battles. Not everything is worth an argument. There are some things that will not change, like if your spouse has a high-pitched laugh that you cannot stand. On the other hand, if your partner is always late and causes the both of you to miss an important event, then you deserve a resolution.
- Communicate about pet peeves that matter. If you sit down and come to a realization that your pet peeves about your partner go deeper, and that the underlying problem is that you feel your partner is inattentive, or that your partner frequently breaks commitments to you, then these go beyond annoyances and into legitimate relationship territory. Once you really hone in on what pet peeves really matter to you and why they matter, you can move forward toward healthy discussion of these issues with your partner.
New Direction Family Law
New Direction Family Law handles all manner of family law matters, including separations and divorces, child custody, child support, and alimony. Our attorneys take great pride in provided clients with thoughtful, relevant legal guidance through your difficult times. Let us assist you. We serve Wake, Johnston, Lee, Harnett, Cumberland, Nash, Granville, Franklin, and Durham counties. Contact New Direction Family Law at (919) 719-3470 or reach us online.
Sarah J. Hink
New Direction Family Law