Decluttering After Divorce

Decluttering After Divorce

In Lifestyle, Separation & Divorce by Dorena Kohrs

Decluttering After DivorceI’m a hopeless romantic. A voyeur of sorts. I’m captivated by every love story and every kiss that holds all of the promise of two souls dancing long into the night. I cry those sweet tears of joy when the slipper effortlessly glides onto Cinderella’s foot, and the future is full of shooting stars and moonbeams.

But what happens when our happily ever after is shattered into 100 little pieces, and we’re forced to consider a different future? When our prince charming isn’t quite so charming and the picture of growing old together is marred with heartache?

Our natural tendency is to hold on for dear life. Standing our ground against change with a fierceness that may even surprise ourselves.

We cling to the very things that are actually holding us back.

We become so overwhelmed by an unknown future that we become immobilized. We don’t know where to begin. And even the simplest of decisions is gut wrenching.

Our trust in ourselves has been broken in the same way the faith in our marriage has been broken.

We ask why we ignored the red flags. Why we spent years saying yes when we meant no. Why we settled for less than. It is this judgement against ourselves that keeps us stuck and afraid of making decisions. It is what keeps us from moving forward towards a new life of our most daring design.

But what if I told you that the answer to getting unstuck begins with decluttering your physical belongings?

That the act of decluttering is the gateway to healing with benefits beyond your wildest imagination. They include:

  • Clearing negative energy
  • Inviting you to ask yourself what YOU like
  • Reminding you to stay focused on the present
  • Allowing you to let go of the things that no longer serve you
  • Signaling to the universe that you’re ready to move forward

And now what if told you that you can take the first step to decluttering without lifting a finger?!

Seriously! Let’s get started!

I want you to close your eyes and name how you want to feel in your home. Peaceful. Energized. Creative. Safe. What is that overwhelming feeling you’d like to have?

After you’ve named that feeling, I want you to picture yourself walking through your front door and meandering throughout your home. As you meander know that everything you set your eyes on makes you feel the way you want to feel. There is nothing in your home that makes you feel sad, guilty, angry, flawed or less than.

And right now, I want you to take one more step. Identify one thing that you have complete ownership over that is making you feel less than and make a decision to toss, donate or sell it. Yes, right now! Just one thing. And then over the coming days and weeks, make another decision and another and another.

If you get stuck, here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • If I had the option of buying this item today, would I?
  • What is the worst thing that can happen if I get rid of this item?
  • Am I making my things mean something about myself? For example, I can’t let go of my old college text books, because they mean that I am
  • mart and accomplished. PS. You will still be smart and accomplished without your college text books 😉
  • Am I storing items in my home that are not mine? If so, what do I need to do to move them out of my home?
  • Am I fighting with my ex to keep a belonging purely out of anger or spite? If so, why would I want it in my home?
  • Am I focusing on wanting a “fair” share of belongings or wanting belongings that will bring me joy?

I know this isn’t an easy process. But as Toni Morrison says, “You wanna fly, you gotta get rid of the sh*t that weights you down.”

You can do this! And if you get stuck, I’m here to hold your hand.


Dorena Kohrs
Space Doula + Decluttering Maven
Breathing Room Professional Organizing, LLC.

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