Dating After Divorce: Tips and What to Expect

Dating After Divorce: Tips and What to Expect

In Separation & Divorce by Jennifer Bordeaux

Dating After Divorce: Tips and What to ExpectValentine’s Day has just passed and if you’re separated or divorced, romantic dinners, red roses and heart-shaped boxes full of chocolates were probably the last thing you wanted to think about. However, there will come a time that you may feel you’re ready to get “back in saddle” and re-enter the dating world in search of that companion that will renew your faith in love and happiness, but that may be a little easier said than done. The pace and expectations of today’s dating scene may be quite a bit different than they were the last time you went on a date. What is expected on the first date? Is texting ok? Is the guy still expected to pay? What if this date is a waste of time? Re-entering the dating world can be intimidating, but have no fear, A+ Introductions is here!

Family law attorney Elizabeth Stephenson, sat down with traditional match maker, Angela Kelley of A+ Introductions to discuss some frequently asked questions about how she helps people navigate through the modern-age dating world.

  1. Is A+ Introductions an internet dating service?
    • No, A+ Introductions is an old fashioned personal match making service. A+ Introductions takes really good men and women and matches them up. It’s not done over there internet and there are no pictures floating around. Angela sits down with each person and gets to know them, find out what they’re looking for and need in their life.
  2. What do you look for to match people together?
    • Online dating sites use a lot of algorithms to match people up. I don’t use one of those systems. I match people up based on their personality traits, value systems and preferences. With all the online dating sites, people often times disregard or show interest in a person based only on they look like. I won’t disregard someone’s personal preferences for physical attributes, but I don’t believe you can’t base long term success solely on a snap shot of someone. I encourage people to focus on inner qualities.
  3. What’s the process to get started with A+ Introductions match making services?
    • I sit down and meet every member personally and have a thorough conversation that is complimentary, meaning there’s no charge. There’s a lot of intuition involved in match making, so I like getting to really know all my clients. After the first meeting, if you decide to sign up, I do a thorough background check. Then I’ll compare the things we’ve discussed with the people in my database. If I don’t feel I have someone in my database for what you’re looking for, then I’ll go out into the community and search for people as well.
  4. How do you find people that aren’t in your database?
    • Most of it is done by networking and word of mouth. I also work with a group of different match makers locally and around the country. If I’m working with someone and it’s been a little more challenging to find a match for them, I’ll reach out to the other match makers for suggestions.
  5. What happens after you find two people you feel are a match?
    • I talk with each person and share first names. I don’t share any personal information beyond that, but I do explain the qualities of each person and why I feel it would be a good match. If both people agree to meet, we’ll set up a time to meet based on your interest. At the end of the date, if you want to share more personal contact information with the person, you’re welcome to. If not, I contact each person and get feedback about the date and go from there on whether there will be a second date or not.
  6. Do I get to see a picture of my proposed match?
    • I think people are judging others based on that snapshot and people are so much more than that. I’ll be up front with someone about some attributes, but I also take into consideration the privacy issue.
  7. Do you work with people that are separated or divorced?
    • As advised by a family law attorney, in North Carolina, there is no law that prevents someone from dating while separated and before they are divorced. However, I don’t work with people that are separated and NOT legally divorced. When you’re in your separation phase, I think you should focus on ending that experience. In fairness to my existing clients, I want you to be completely available, because existing clients are looking for a true relationship. If you’re still legally wrapped into the marriage, it makes things a bit messier. I definitely work with people that are recently or otherwise divorced and discuss the trepidation that may come along with getting back into dating.
  8. If you’re working with someone that is separated or divorced and hasn’t been out on a date in a long time, do you help them with other things like the way the look, how to dress, etc.?
    • I do. All of my packages include dating coaching, and some packages offer working with personal stylist and personal trainers that I know. I also have a couple of local actor’s that I work with that help with mock dating preparation if the person would like it. It helps to build confidence and practice for getting back into the dating scene and it seems to help people a lot.
  9. What’s the average time that people are involved with A+ Introduction Services?
    • I generally sign contracts for a year. Depending on life circumstances, services can be shortened or extended beyond a year, but the average is about a year.
  10. Do you offer a money back guarantee?
    • I don’t. I never promise someone that I’ll find someone for them. I may be able to check all the boxes of interests, values, etc. on paper, but I can’t predict chemistry between two people. I will do my best, and if I know that I cannot help someone, I am honest and let them know upfront.
  11. How do people get in contact with you to initiate the process and get prepared to meet with you?
    • Someone can contact me via my website, aplusintroductions.com, by phone at 919-670-8259, or my A+ Introductions Facebook Page. There’s nothing you need to bring to the first meeting, but I do send out a short questionnaire via email to encourage people to think about what they are looking for and long term goals. My services aren’t suited for anyone that’s only interested in a random one time kind of a date. My services are more relationship focused and I typically work with people 35 and older.

For more detailed information about these questions and more, watch the full discussion in the video below. Putting yourself back out there after divorce or a long-term relationship means being vulnerable and taking a leap of faith, but you’re not alone in that endeavor. Take advantage of the wonderful support system that is around you, and before you know it, the sparks of chemistry will be flying.